100 Funny Jokes to Tell During Family Gatherings, Dates, and Daily Basis

Funny Jokes to Tell

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A hangout or a family gathering is totally not complete without some funny and memorable moments. And what better could be than to play tricks and jokes for the day? If you’re wondering about funny jokes to tell, dad jokes (and faux pa jokes), mom jokes, or funny jokes for kids, you can see them in the following list and laugh along with your lovelies:

• "Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse."

• "What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh."

• "What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator."

• "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."

• "There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”"

• "How can you tell that a tree is a dogwood tree? By its bark!"

• "Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless."

• "What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment."

• "If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes."

• "After a crime, a detective noted that he thought it was foul play. The other detective said, “You mean, he was playing with birds?”"

• "I’m really good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed."

• "What did the policeman say to his bellybutton? You’re under a vest."

• "Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast."

• "What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop."

• "What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest."

• "Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in."

• "Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels."

• "When do computers overheat? When they need to vent."

• "What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes."

• "Where can you buy chicken broth in bulk? The stock market."

Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends

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So, you’re out with your friends and somebody’s got to be the “master” in telling jokes. Who that would be? Not you are a master, but let’s just decide it’s you, since you are the one who’s here reading and looking for funny jokes to tell.

Here is Tripboba’s other version of corny jokes or funny jokes to tell:

• "Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs."

• "A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here."

• "How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin."

• "What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!"

• "What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta."

• "What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste."

• "How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card."

• "Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi."

• "Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

• "What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows."

• "What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships."

• "Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

• "What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing. It just waved."

• "What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup."

• "Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one."

• "What do you call a factory that sells good products? A satisfactory."

• "How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut."

• "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."

• "Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four doors it would be called a chicken sedan."

• "What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore."

Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush

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This is your moment to shine! Take this chance and use it to impress your crush – effortlessly! Who would’ve thought that now you’re in the same space with your crush? This opportunity can be used to get to know him/her better, or you can use it to impress them with funny jokes.

Remember, though, to keep it casual, don’t sound desperate, and always be yourself. Here is what Tripboba has found after doing research:

• "Are you a booger? Because you’re so hard to get."

• "Are you dandruff? Because I can’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I try."

• "Are you my dentures? Because I can’t smile without you."

• "Are you the square root of two? Because I always feel extra irrational around you."

• "Are you the sun? Because my whole world revolves around you."

• "Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy."

• "Do you know what my clothes are made of? Boyfriend/girlfriend material!"

• "Have you been eating sugar? Because your smile is so sweet."

• "What did the Aloe vera plant say to the other plant? Aloe you vera much!"

• "What did the coffee drink say to the other coffee drink? You mean a latte to me!"

• "What did the ghost say to its soulmate? You are so boo-tiful to me."

• "What did the monkey say to the banana? I find you really a-peeling."

• "What did the smartphone say to the WiFi router? I’m feeling a connection between us."

• "What did the owl say to its partner? Owl love you for the rest of my days."

• "What happens when two boats fall in love? Row-mance."

• "Why are skunks so romantic? Because they are scent-imental creatures."

• "Are you a mouse? Because I’m the cat that keeps chasing you."

• " For a smartphone, mine seems a bit dumb. I mean it doesn’t even know your number!"

• "Am I a bad shooter? Because I keep on missing you."

• "By any chance, do you work at the zoo? Because I think you’re a keeper."

Funny Jokes to Tell A Girl

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When you are on a date with her, you want to make sure to keep the vibe alive so that you all are away from boredom – especially her! We assure you that these funny jokes to tell will impress her. Let’s take a look below:

• "Why do archaeologists get all the girls?"

• "Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven?"

• "Girl, you are so delightful, cheerful, and bright, you can make batman rent an apartment and abandon his cave!"

• "Our love is a mocha latte. You’re hot like coffee, sweet like sugar and filled with a little extra pep to make it simply perfect."

• "I was going to buy you a flower, and then I realized that you’re far more beautiful than any rose I could pick."

• "Hey, we have so much in common! I know nothing about you and you know nothing about me – we are just perfect for each other!"

• "Was that an earthquake or did you just shake my entire world in a second?"

• "Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?"

• "Am I cute enough yet or do you need more of those vodkas?"

• "Who knew I would be an organ donor so early in life? I already gave my heart to you."

• "I am going to call the cops. It must be illegal to be as fine as you are."

• "I have thought about this long and hard. your father must be an alien. There is not another person on the planet that's like you."

• "You're so beautiful, I just forgot my pick-up line."

• "I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

• "I think I have a heart attack every time I am with you. My heart skips beats and races a mile a minute when I feel your touch."

• "Do you have a band-aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you."

• "Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here."

• "You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room."

• "If I were diabetic, I would be in trouble because you're so sweet I would go into shock."

• "My doc said that I don't have an arrhythmia, but your presence is sure proving him wrong!"

Funny Jokes to Tell Friends

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For more funny jokes to tell, Tripboba has gathered them in the following list:

• "What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain."

• "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!"

• "Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs."

• "Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? No? Really? It’s making headlines!"

• "How does a duck buy lipstick? She just puts it on her bill."

• "Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for a bad summer."

• "What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead."

• "What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc already."

• "Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road show answer? To go with the traffic jam."

• "What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Ones an enormous grey animal, the others a little lighter."

• "Why did the school kids eat their homework? Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake."

• "Why can’t you trust duck doctors? They’re all quacks."

• "Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway."

• "What did the elevator say when it sneezed? I think I’m coming down with something."

• "What do you call shoes made of banana peels? Slippers."

• "Why did the bicycle collapse? It was two tired."

• "What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

• "Why did the restaurant hire a pig? He was good at bacon."

• "Why did the poor man stock up on yeast? To make some dough."

• "What does corn say when you give it a compliment? Aw shucks!"