70+ Top Cow Jokes for Your Daily A-moooo-sement!

Cow Jokes

Cow Jokes - Photo by Ryan Song from Unsplash

Our first version of cow jokes can be seen down below. Learn and enjoy the jokes and you’re ready to go!

• "Why are cows such great dancers? They have all the best moooves!"

• "What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef."

• "Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? At McDonalds."

• "What is a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos."

• "What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!"

• "What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake? Give a cold cow a pogo stick."

• "What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood."

• "What do you call a cow with two short legs? Lean beef."

• "What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef."

• "Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Their horns don’t work."

• "What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth? Decalfinated."

• "What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock."

• "Where did the cow spend all its money? At the cow-sino."

• "What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow? Milk of Amnesia."

• "Why won’t cows join the police force? Tthey refuse to participate in steak-outs."

• "What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky."

• "Why couldn’t the two cows get along? Because they had beef with one another."

• "What would you call a cow wearing armor? Sir Loin."

• "Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side."

• "What do you call a scared cow? A cow-ard."

• "Where would you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it."

Funny Cow Jokes

Cow Jokes - Photo by Priscilla Du Preez from Unsplash

The more you read these cow jokes, the more you create smile lines on your face! This is our treatment for you today! Let’s have some laugh and get ready for the funniest cow jokes and cow puns!

• "Why don’t cows have money? Because the farmers keep draining them dry."

• "How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down!"

• "Why did the cow jump over the moon? He thought the mooooon was calling to him."

• "How do cows introduce their wives? Hey guys! Meat Patty."

• "Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night? To the moovies!"

• "What would feed a bratty cow? Spoiled milk."

• "What did one cow say to the other on a cold night? “I don’t really know about you but I’m Fresian.”

• "What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A Milk Dud."

• "What do you call a cow after an earthquake? A milkshake."

• "Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes? He kept butchering every one."

• "What do you use to count cows? A cow-culator."

• "What do you call a magic cow? Moo-dini."

• "What happened when the cow ran into the fence? It was udderly destructed."

• "What do cows put on french toast? Mooooolasses."

• "How does lady gaga usually like her steak? Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!"

• "What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer."

• "What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure."

• "What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail? How diary!"

• "What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings? Cow-moo-flauged."

• "What is a cow’s favorite magazine? Moogue."

• "When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply? “I was going to say that!”

Cow Jokes for Kids

Cow Jokes - Photo by Priscilla Du Preez from Unsplash

If you’re looking for cow jokes and puns for kids, Tripboba has got plenty for you to share with your little ones. Mind you, these cow jokes are just as good as the Legen Dairy milk – there’s also a line of knock knock joke for you!

• "Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd."

• "Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? They lactose."

• "How did the cow know he was noble? He was a Sir Loin."

• "Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer’s hands were cold."

• "What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef."

• "What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull dozer."

• "What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out."

• "Why did the Secret Service surround the president with dozens of cows? They were trying to beef up security."

• "What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos."

• "What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog? Hound beef."

• "What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline? Milkshake."

• "What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow? Udder nonsense."

• "What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bedtime.”

• "What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen but not herd.”

• "What did the cow say to all her friends? “I am legen-dairy.”

• "What did the Auntie cow say to her niece? “You’re so udderly cute!”

• "Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, silly. Cow say MOOOOOOOO."

• "What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk."

• "What happens when a cow laugh? Milk comes out of its nose."

• "What’s a cow’s favorite TV show? Dr Moo."

What Do Cows Drink Joke

Cow Jokes - Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Cow jokes are definitely among the best! The whole cow jokes Tripboba has shared tell you that they are laugh worthy! And for more cow jokes for your enjoyment, see the following list:

• "What do cows drink joke. Say each of the questions aloud and then answer the final question." "What color are polar bears?" "What color is cotton?" "What color are clouds normally on a sunny day?" "What color are marshmallows?" "So what do cows drink?"

• "Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas. After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow tipping?" "I'm sorry, gentlemen. Cow tipping is simply an urban myth," the bartender explains. "The farmers actually pay them a competitive wage."

• "In Texas, there is a town named New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population. One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond. The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." (Translated: "Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.") The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English." The rancher replied: "Use both hands."

• "I've never tipped a cow. But, then again, I've never had one serve me drinks or a meal."

• "A guy walks into a bar and sees a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The man takes a seat at the bar, mouth wide open, stunned. The horse is interacting with customers, mixing drinks, taking meal orders, and giving change. Finally the horse sees the man, and says What's the matter, buddy? Never seen a talking horse before? The man says, No, it's not that. I just never thought the cow would sell the place."

• "Sometimes, I wonder what was going in the mind of the first person, who squeezed a pink, drooping part of a cow's stomach, saw a thick white liquid come out and declared,"I'm gonna drink this."

• "How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her."

• "An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond. The Amish farmer shouts: 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' (Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have sh-t in it.') The kneeling man shouts back: 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak in English.' The Amish farmer says: 'Use two hands, you'll get more."

• "What do you get when you milk a stone cow? A stiff drink."

• "A bull and a lion are sitting in bar

• They're sitting for a while talking, eating and drinking. After a while the bull lion says: "You know what lion, your wife is a real lioness. She lets you go out, have fun, have a few drinks and still manages to have a laugh with you while my wife is a cow."

• "How did the Redneck die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him."