70+ Very Funny Jokes for Adults and Kids to Break the Ice

Very Funny Jokes

• "What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam." - Unknown

• "Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way." - Unknown

• "Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “no-bell” prize." - Unknown

• "I like elephants. Everything else is irrelephant." - Unknown

• "Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For drizzle." - Unknown

• "Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot." - Unknown

• "What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk." - Unknown

• "It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad. It’s a faux pa." - Unknown

• "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob." - Unknown

• "Three fish are in a tank. One asks the others, How do you drive this thing?" - Unknown

• "My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it’s also terrible." - Unknown

• "What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80? Aye, matey." - Unknown

• "What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One’s really heavy; the other’s a little lighter." - Unknown

Very Very Funny Jokes

Very Funny Jokes - Photo by Katrina Berban from Unsplash

• "What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh." - Unknown

• "Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!" - Unknown

• "Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,000 soles were lost." - Unknown

• "What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick." - Unknown

• "Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed some space." - Unknown

• "The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers." - Unknown

• "What did the mime say to his audience? Nothing." - Unknown

• "What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!" - Unknown

• "What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large." - Unknown

• "What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle? A polar bear." - Unknown

• "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta." - Unknown

• "What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality." - Unknown

• "A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Get it?" - Unknown

• "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!”" - Unknown

• "Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for his miserable summer." - Unknown

Very Funny Jokes for Kids

• "What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick." - Unknown

• "What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear." - Unknown

• "Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it." - Unknown

• "What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock." - Unknown

• "How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience." - Unknown

• "What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed." - Unknown

• "What do you think of that new diner on the moon? Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere." - Unknown

• "Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn’t born yet." - Unknown

• "Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon? Because she will let it go, let it go." - Unknown

• "What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste." - Unknown

• "Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school." - Unknown

• "What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador." - Unknown

• "Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her." - Unknown

• " How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut." - Unknown

• "What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts." - Unknown

Very Funny Jokes in English

• "What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!" - Unknown

• "I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust." - Unknown

• "What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They’re both purple except for the rabbit." - Unknown

• "Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks." - Unknown

• "What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator." - Unknown

• "Why don’t dinosaurs talk? Because they’re dead." - Unknown

• "What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything." - Unknown

• "What’s green and has wheels? Grass." - Unknown

• "What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? “Oops!” - Unknown

• "What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil." - Unknown

• "There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t." - Unknown

• "What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1." - Unknown

• "Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

• One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan." - Unknown

• "Why did the chicken run across the road? To get to the other side faster." - Unknown

Very Funny Jokes for Adults

Very Funny Jokes - Photo by Markus Winkler from Unsplash

• "Why are men like diapers? They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable." - Unknown

• "What kind of Bees produce milk? Boobees." - Unknown

• "What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I’m going in." - Unknown 

• "What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft? Chewing gum." - Unknown

• "What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms? Melt them into a tire and call it a Goodyear." - Unknown

• "What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!" - Unknown

• "What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball." - Unknown

• "How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls." - Unknown

• "What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me!" - Unknown

• "What do you call an expert fisherman? A Master Baiter" - Unknown

• "Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year." - Unknown

• "What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing." - Unknown

• "Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom." - Unknown

• "What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A. Beat it. We’re closed." - Unknown