85 Hilarious Short People Jokes to Tell to Your Friends

Best Short People Jokes

The best of the best short people jokes are here.

• Why did the short guy fall asleep in his harness and his helmet? Because he was tired from climbing into bed.

• How do short people go shopping for pants? They buy shorts.

• How does a short person reach the top shelf? They don’t.

• What is a short person’s favorite side order? A small fry.

• What is a short person’s favorite dessert? Strawberry Short Cake.

• What do you call a short person with a bad spray tan? An Oompa Loompa.

• Where do short people buy their shoes? The kid’s section.

• How do short people shoot a bow and arrow? With a rubber band and a toothpick.

• Where is the worst place for a short person to stand at a concert? Behind anyone at all.

• Why did the short person bring a parachute to the bar? So they could get down from the barstool.

• Why was the short guy scared of the wiener dog? Because it was too tall.

• What 3 things does a short person need to take a bath? Floaties, a snorkel, and a lifeguard.

• What do you call it when a short person waves at you? A microwave.

• How does a short person look you in the eye? They get on a ladder.

• God only lets things grow until they are perfect. Some of us didn’t take as long as others! –Short People

• Why did the short guy drop out of college? Because he couldn’t reach higher education.

Short People Problems Jokes

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Tell them you're problems being short with these short people jokes.

• You know you’re short when your kids can keep things out of your reach.

• You know you’re short if you can play handball on the curb.

• Why was the short person stuck in the elevator? Because they couldn’t reach the ‘door open’ button.

• How does a short person take a bath? They get into the sink!

• What’s a short person’s favorite thing on the menu? Short ribs.

• You know you’re short when you can do pull-ups on a door handle.

• Why shouldn’t you hire short people as chefs? Because the steaks are too high.

• Two tall guys walk into a bar. Why didn’t the short guy walk into the bar too? He walked under it.

• You know you’re short when your own shoelaces hit you in the head.

• Why did the short guy lose the race? He was a little slow.

• What do you call a door for short people? A doggy door.

• You’re so short; you can’t reach your own head.

Really Funny Short People Jokes

Hold your laugh! below are the funniest short people jokes you might have ever heard.

• How do you win an argument with a short person? You stoop to their level.

• Why couldn’t the short guy finish the fun-sized candy bar? It was too big!

• Why did the short guy wear stilts? So he could be as tall as everyone else.

• Have you heard about those self-driving cars? Turns out it was just a bunch of short people driving around.

• Why was the short lady scared of the iguana? She thought it was Godzilla.

• You know you’re short when people ask you which Minion character you played in the movie.

• Why did the short guy buy the house with the water fountain? Because he’s always wanted to own a swimming pool.

• What do short people call burritos? Sleeping bags.

• My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people.

• It was just a little get-together. Short people are oppressed. They’re always getting overlooked.

• I asked a dwarf to lend me 5 dollars yesterday.
  He said, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”
  

• How do short people go dress shopping? They buy t-shirts

• My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up with me making fun of her height. So tonight I’m going to make it up to her. I’ve got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show. When she gets in from work I’m going to order her favorite takeaway which we’ll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs. Then afterward I’m going to go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.

• I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don’t know how anyone could stoop so low.

• Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.

• I raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were furious.

• Why do midgets always laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls.

• I met a couple of really short people today. They were really down-to-earth guys.

• What do you call a poor midget? Short changed.

• Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail? He’s a small-medium who’s at large.

Funny Short People Jokes

Check some of these funny short people jokes that you probably like.

• Diet soda is a regular soda for a short person.

• Why did the short guy start bodybuilding? Because he thought it would make him taller.

• You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.

• I'm starting a charity to teach short people maths... It's called, "Making the little things count."

• If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium?

• I met a couple of really short people today. They were really down-to-earth guys.

• You've really got to hand it to short people... They’re just too short to get it themselves

• How do you call it when two short people do 69? ea.

• You gotta hand it to the short people out there... They can’t reach it by themselves

• Short people are always sad because they can never reach happiness.

• Why can’t short people become chefs? Because it’s a high steaks job.

• Sometimes I want to make a joke about short people, but I don't want to stoop to their level.

• Tall vs. Short
  Tall People: "I'm somewhere around 6 feet."
  Short People: "I'm 5 feet and 5.756432841 inches."
  

• You shouldn’t make fun of short people because it’s a little person too... I mean a little too personal.

• Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas.

• Stop making jokes on short people. It's not funny if the person getting trolled can't enjoy it. After all, most of the jokes go way over their heads.

• Does anyone know the PC term for short people? Or do yall also struggle with gnomenclature?

• Why can you lie infront of short people without consequences? It goes over their heads.

• Height bullying is no joke. Seriously, guys, we need to stop looking down on short people.

• My local funeral service is offering a 2-for-1 deal on coffins... But only to short people.

These are 85 short people jokes you can read. All these jokes will become your "weapon" to make people happy and also to make you a grateful person, although in a weird way.