Dark Humor Love Quotes

Dark Humor Love Quotes
Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels

Love can hurt and make you depressed. That's why you need these dark humor quotes about love and relationships.

  • “I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.” ― Jess C Scott, The Devilin Fey

  • “I tell you, little man, life's fall guys, beaten, fleeced to the bone, sweated from time immemorial, I warn you, that when the princes of this world start loving you, it means they're going to grind you up into battle sausage...” ― Louis-Ferdinand Céline, Journey to the End of the Night

  • "My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

  • “It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.” — Robert Frost

  • “I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor

  • “Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” — Jerry Seinfeld

  • “Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint” ― Brent Weeks, The Way of Shadows

  • “Please, please be some sex-starved nutcase who wants to kidnap me and make me your love slave, I begged silently.” ― Cate Tiernan, Immortal Beloved

  • “It's better to be loved than feared, but if you can't be loved, then fear will do.-Dino quoting Machiavelli” ― Laurell K. Hamilton, Bullet

  • Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!" - Unknown

  • “Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint” ― Brent Weeks, The Way of Shadows

  • “Diabetes is just like a lover, hurting you from the inside.”―Sherman Alexie

  • “You may be married to a star, but that doesn't mean they'll treat you like one.” ― Jess C. Scott, I'm Pretty

  • “I love the movie "Titanic." It's my favorite romantic comedy!” ― Troy Bisson

  • “...I could feel her burrowing into my heart. I didn't know if the burrowing was like a kitten cuddling up to its mother or if it was like a chigger depositing its larvae underneath the skin of my ankles.” ― Jason Porter, Why Are You So Sad?: A Novel

  • “The day their love died, so did an unsuspecting duck.” ― Racha Mourtada, 55 slightly sinister stories

  • "When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

  • "My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf." - Unknown

  • “I did not need an unstable relationship to teach me about the evils of broken promises. I had parents for that.” ― Michelle Franklin


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