135 Top Dad Jokes 2021 to Make You The Funniest Guy on Earth

Bad Dad Jokes 2021

These dad jokes 2021 will put a little boogie into your moments.

• "Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish."

• "What does a baby computer call its father? Data."

• "What did the custodian say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”

• "Why are colds bad criminals? Because they’re easy to catch."

• "How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together."

• "Which knight invented King Arthur’s Round Table? Sir Cumference."

• "What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast."

• "What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!"

• "What happens when you witness a ship wreck? You let it sink in."

• "How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints."

• "What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds."

• "What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!"

• "What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!"

• "Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side!"

• "What’s the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle."

• "What did the teacher do with the student’s report on cheese? She grated it."

• "What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish."

• "What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? “Aye, matey!”

• "How do you organize an astronomer’s party? You planet."

• "What’s the action like at a circus? In-tents."

• "What do you get when you coddle a cow? "Spoiled milk."

• "Don't fart in an Apple Store...They don't have windows."

• "If you receive a picture of some meat in a tin from me to your email addresses... don't worry, it's just spam."

Best Dad Jokes 2021

Find some of the best dad jokes 2021 here.

• "E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don't serve minors.”

• "A mushroom walked into a bar and ordered a drink, but the bartender yelled at him to get out before he stinked up the place. The mushroom looked back and says, “Why? I’m a fun guy.”

• "What's the best thing about Switzerland? "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

• "What does a sprinter eat before a race? "Nothing, they fast!"

• "Where do you learn to make a banana split? "Sundae school."

• "What has more letters than the alphabet? "The post office!"

• "Dad, did you get a haircut? "No, I got them all cut!"

• "What do you call a poor Santa Claus? "St. Nickel-less."

• "I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind."

• "Where do boats go when they're sick? "To the boat doc."

• "I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady."

• "How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."

• "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."

• "I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."

• "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

• "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

• "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."

• "What did one hat say to the other? "Stay here! I'm going on ahead."

• "Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones."

• "Dad, can you put my shoes on? "No, I don't think they'll fit me."

• "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

• "What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? "Yellow!"

• "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."

• "What kind of car does an egg drive? "A yolkswagen."

• "Wanna hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy."

• "How can you tell a dogwood tree from an elm tree? By the bark."

Corny Dad Jokes 2021

Let people laugh at your cringy by hearing some of these great dad jokes 2021.

• "I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it."

• "What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? "Where's Pop Corn?

• "I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."

• "A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest."

• "You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg."

• "When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?

• "Do you wanna box for your leftovers? "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

• "That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted."

• "Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them."

• "If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

• "What country's capital is growing the fastest? "Ireland. Every day it's Dublin."

• "I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea."

• "Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines."

• "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up."

• "A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'"

• "I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate."

• "I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands."

• "Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist."

• "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."

• "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."

• "I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."

• "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"

• "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"

• "Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."

• "The space bar is a scam, I pressed it and order a whiskey but nothing came through."

• "Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!"

Funny Dad Jokes 2021

Photo by Nathan Colquhoun from Flickr

The funniest dad jokes 2021 are lay down below.

• "Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

• "I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me."

• "I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!"

• "I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since."

• "You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine."

• "What's brown and sticky? A stick."

• "Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."

• "What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant."

• "What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk."

• "I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!"

• "What's the best smelling insect? "A deodor-ant."

• "I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice."

• "What do you call a belt made of watches? "A waist of time."

• "What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? "Traffic jam."

• "What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? "Prime mates."

• "What do you call a pony with a sore throat? "A little hoarse."

• "Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!"

• "If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

• "I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know."

• "It takes guts to be an organ donor."

• "If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?

• "I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!"

• "I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it."

• "What do you call a fake noodle? "An impasta."

• "Where do math teachers go on vacation? "Times Square."

• "Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers."

• "What does garlic do when it gets hot? "It takes its cloves off."

• "What's a robot's favorite snack? "Computer chips."

• "How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? "Nothing, it's on the house."

• "Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."

• "What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream."

Overall, these are 135 dad jokes 2021 to fill your house with laughter and put a smile on people's faces, and make sure your dad here them too.

If you are the dad, you know what you have supposed to do after finding your favorite jokes here.