128 Funny SpongeBob Quotes to Fill Your Life With Happiness

Funny SpongeBob Squarepants Quotes

Check some of these funny SpongeBob quotes if you need to be happy.

• Patrick: "Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
  Squidward: "No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not an instrument... Horseradish is not an instrument either."
  

• Patrick: "Are they laughing at us?"
  SpongeBob: "No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us."
  

• SpongeBob: "Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse!"
  Patrick: "Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose."
  

• Sandy: "Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"
  Patrick: "Not until 4."
  

• "I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!" - SpongeBob

• "Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells...smelly." - Mr. Krabs

• "If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright." - SpongeBob

• "I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes." - SpongeBob

• "This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness." - SpongeBob

• "You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you." - Plankton

• "Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain." - Sandy

• "Sweet mother of Pearl!'/'Mother of Pearl!" - Mr. Krabs

• "Come spend your money here!" - Mr. Krabs

• "Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions." - SpongeBob

• "If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor!" - Lord Royal Highness

• "Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!" - Plankton

• "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request." - Mr. Krabs

• "Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly." - SpongeBob

• "Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you." - Squidward

• "Please come again. When I'm not working." - Squidward

• "Well, it wouldn't be the first time you ruined everything." - Squidward

• "I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die." - Squidward

SpongeBob Funny Quotes and Sayings

Photo by imdb.com

Here are some funny SpongeBob quotes and sayings you can read and giggle.

• "We paid nine dollars for this?" - Puff

• "And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple." - SpongeBob

• "His chops are too righteous. The helmets can’t handle this level of rock n’ roll! Karen, do something!" - Plankton

• Squidward: "You mean you’ve never heard the story of the… hash-slinging slasher?"
  SpongeBob: "The slash-bringing hasher?"
  Squidward: "The hash-slinging slasher."
  SpongeBob: "The sash wringing… the trash thinging… mash flinging… the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the…"
  Squidward: "Yes. The hash-slinging slasher."
  

• "I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I… need… it!" - SpongeBob

• "Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!" - SpongeBob

• "Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material." - SpongeBob

• "Squidward… I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!" - SpongeBob

• "Moss always points to civilization." - SpongeBob

• "I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…" - SpongeBob

• "Everybody’s a critic." - Squidward

• "Oh, My aching tentacles." - Squidward

• "Whatever." - Squidward

• "How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?" - Squidward

• "I went to college!" - Plankton

• "Karen, my computer wife…" - Plankton

• "Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn’t seem so dark." - SpongeBob

• "Tartar sauce!" - SpongeBob

• "A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those." - SpongeBob

• "It’s evil. It’s diabolical. It’s lemon-scented. This Plan Z can’t possibly fail!" - Plankton

• "Oh Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs’ success. The formula for the Krabby Patty…Ohhh…Then people would line up to eat at MY restaurant! Lord knows I’ve tried. I’ve exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet…from A to Y!" - Plankton

• "Karen, baby, I haven’t felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife!" - Plankton

• "It started out as a simple order. A Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE!" - Mr. Krabs

• "We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!" - Patrick

• "Look at all the hip young people eating sal-ads." - SpongeBob

• Police: "If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime... Okay, time’s up. Now get out!"
  SpongeBob: "But… we stole a balloon!"
  Police: "Yeah, on free balloon day!"
  

• SpongeBob: "What’s better than serving up smiles?"
  Squidward: "Being dead or anything else."
  

• "But it’s my only night to be fancy!" - Squidward

• "There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front." - Patrick

• "Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: "One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!" -Krabs.

Funny Quotes from SpongeBob

There are more funny SpongeBob quotes by himself.

• "I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent." - SpongeBob

• "You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich" - SpongeBob

• "Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home." - SpongeBob

• "Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty." - SpongeBob

• "I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors!" - SpongeBob

• "Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off." - SpongeBob

• SpongeBob: "Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird."
  Patrick: "No, SpongeBob, that’s Italian." 
  

• Squidward: "Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic!"
  Patrick: "What does claustrophobic mean?"
  SpongeBob: "I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus."
  Patrick: "Ho, Ho, Ho!"
  SpongeBob: "Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!”
  

• Mr. Krab: "That hat makes you look like a girl.
  SpongeBob: "Am I pretty girl?
  

• "The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! And it's in great shape." - SpongeBob

• "Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!" - SpongeBob

• "Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!" - SpongeBob

• "F is for friends who do stuff together!" - SpongeBob

• "Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face." - SpongeBob

• "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!" - SpongeBob

• "Hello, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises." - SpongeBob

• "Oh, these aren't homemade. They were made in a factory... a bomb factory. They're bombs." - SpongeBob

• "No problemo." - SpongeBob

• "Ah, shrimp." - SpongeBob

• "It took three days to make that potato salad…three days!!!" - SpongeBob

• "All I know is fine dining and breathing." - SpongeBob

• "Ravioli, ravioli. Give me the formuoli." - SpongeBob

• "Krusty Krab Pizza, it's the pizza for you and meeeeee!" - SpongeBob

• "I’m a good noodle!" - SpongeBob

• "Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets." - SpongeBob

• "We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination." - SpongeBob

Funny SpongeBob Quotes Patrick

Let's see other funny SpongeBob quotes by Patrick Star, his best friend.

• "Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?" - Patrick

• "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." - Patrick

• "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" - Patrick

• "Is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick." - Patrick

• "Fine, I guess you're gonna miss... The Panty Raid." - Patrick

• "Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!" - Patrick

• "Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz." - Patrick

• "I can't see my forehead!" - Patrick

• "Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!" - Patrick

• "You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one." - Patrick

• "That’s a big boot." - Patrick

• "Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos." - Patrick

• "Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding!" - Patrick

• "Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom." - Patrick

• "Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week." - Patrick

• Patrick: "Is Sandy the one I call 'Mom'?"
  SpongeBob: "No Patrick, that’s your mother."
  

• SpongeBob: "Guess what day today is?"
  Patrick: "Annoy Squidward day?"
  SpongeBob: "No silly! that’s on the 15!".
  

• SpongeBob SquarePants: "Patrick, I don't think 'wumbo' is a real word."
  Patrick: "Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me wumbo, wumbo, Wumboing, We'll have thee wumbo, Wumborama, Wumbology, The study of wumbo? It's first grade SpongeBob!"
  

• SpongeBob: "Patrick, you’re a genius!"
  Patrick: "Yeah, I get called that a lot."
  SpongeBob: "What? A genius?"
  Patrick: "No, Patrick."
  

• SpongeBob: "We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic."
  Patrick: "Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!"
  

• "Duh…" - Patrick
  "Good morning, Krusty Krew!" - Patrick
  

So, these are all funny SpongeBob quotes from some characters in the series. These quotes might remind you how funny they are and how they can easily entertain you, although you might not be a child anymore.