40 Marriage Funny Quotes to Tickle Your Tummy
Aug 09, 2021 06:30 PM
Tripboba.com - Living a happy married life is a dream for every couple in this world. But, the process to get the happiness we want may differ from one couple to another.
There would be tons of problems that we need to face together and with that problems, couples tend to grow up and learn something new about their partner.
But above all, we should not think too hard and forget that happiness can be everywhere. One of them is by reading these marriage funny quotes. Tripboba is sure you will get your tummy tickled by these marriage funny quotes.
What are they? Let's check it out!
1. Funny Quotes About Marriage
Ready to laugh? Read these marriage funny quotes and make sure to share it with others!
- “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Emma Bombeck
- “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.” Jack Benny
- “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Anonymous
- “If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” Miles Davis
- "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” Anonymous
- “My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” Henry Youngman
- “Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” George Burns
- “We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” Henry Youngman
- “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner
- “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” Prince Phillip
2. Marriage Quotes Funny Positive
Keep reading for more marriage funny quotes.
- “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” Tim Allen
- “Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.” Anonymous
- “I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” Wendy Liebman
- “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” Phyllis Diller
- “The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” Rick Reilly
- “Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours ain’t.” Anonymous
- “Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.” Joginder Singh
- “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” Anonymous
- “What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” Cindy Garner
- "An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.” Booth Tarkington
3. Funny Quotes on Marriage
Want more? Let's go to the next collection of marriage funny quotes!
- “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” Natasha Leggero
- “Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?” Janet Periat
- “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” Kathy Mohnke
- “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.” Billy Connolly
- “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” Jean Illsley Clarke
- “We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.” Henry Youngman
- “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” Maryon Pearson
- “There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments.” Chris Rock
- “I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.” Anonymous
- “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” Lily Tomlin
4. Funny Quotes for Marriage
Marriage takes a lot of work, but that doesn't mean you can't find humor in it. Check these marriage funny quotes below!
- “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” Ann Bancroft
- “Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier.” Judith Viorst
- “To keep your marriage brimming; with love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” Ogden Nash
- “Love is sharing your popcorn.” Charles Schultz
- “In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” Rita Rudner
- “The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.” Anonymous
- “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx
- “My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.” Lee Judge
- "You are a smart cookie. A wise chocolate cake. A brilliant pancake.” Rey Woodman
- “You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” Bill Maher
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