60 Best Chandler Bing Quotes to Share with Your Friends!

Aug 13, 2021 11:28 PM
60 Best Chandler Bing Quotes to Share with Your Friends!
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Tripboba.com - On Friends, Chandler Bing was undoubtedly the funniest character. The man was incredibly snarky and always added a sense of humor to the long-running show. Do you have favorite Chandler Bing quotes? Chandler stands out among all the characters on Friends for having some of the best one-liners and strange comments, so why not rank these Chandler Bing quotes? To whet your appetite, Tripboba provides a compilation of the funniest Chandler Bing quotes. Whatever your favorite Chandler Bing quotes are, you can share these Chandler Bing Quotes with your friends!

Best Chandler Bing Quotes

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  • “I say more dumb things before 9 A.M. than most people say all day.”
  • Chandler: “I got her machine.”Joey: “Her answering machine?”Chandler: “No. Interestingly enough her leafblower picked up.”
  • [To a door] “I’m funny, right? What do you know? You’re a door. You only like knock-knock jokes.”
  • Ross: “I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.” Chandler: “Was that place the sun?”
  • “You have to stop the q-tip when there’s resistance!”
  • Janice: “What a small world.” Chandler: “And yet I never run into Beyonce.”
  • “So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay.”
  • Joey: “Oh, sorry, did I get ya?”  “No, you didn’t get me. It’s an electric drill, if you get me, you kill me!”
  • “Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”
  • “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
  • “If I were a guy and…did I just say ‘if I were a guy?'”
  • “I’m a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last twelve hundred times.”
  • “Until I was 25, I thought that the only response to ‘I love you’ Was ‘Oh, crap!'”
  • “Could we be more white trash?”
  • “I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.”

Chandler Bing Quotes Could I Be Any More

Chandler Bing Quotes Could I Be Any More
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  • “What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?”
  • “Cheese. It’s milk that you chew.”
  • “When I first meet somebody it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.”
  • “It’s always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.”
  • Ross: “No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.” Chandler: “Well, maybe he was nervous”
  • “Alright, I took the quiz. And it turns out I do put my career before men.”
  • “I’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner, I rarely practice my meals before I eat.”
  • Monica: “Okay, I’ve got a leg, three breasts, and a wing.” Chandler: “How do you find clothes that fit?”
  • Ross directing Chandler and Rachel on getting a sofa up some stairs: “PIVOT. PIVOT. PIVOT”
  • “Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple. It opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.”
  • "I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!"
  • "I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day."
  • "You're a Door. You Only Like Knock-Knock Jokes."
  • "You have to stop the q-tip when there's resistance!"

  • "So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay."

Famous Chandler Bing Quotes

Famous Chandler Bing Quotes
Photo by FRIENDS (TV Show) on Pexels

  • "Hi, I'm Chandler. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable."
  • "I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
  • "If I were a guy and... did I just say 'if I were a guy?'"
  • "I'm a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last twelve hundred times."
  • "Until I was 25, I thought that the only response to 'I love you' was 'oh, crap!'"
  • "Could we be more white trash?"
  • "Maybe he was nervous."
  • "This parachute is a knapsack!"
  • "I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts!"
  • "I am not blah, I am a hoot!"
  • "I’m Chandler; I Make Jokes When I’m Uncomfortable."
  • "Hey, Come On, I Say More Dumb Things Before 9 A.M. Than Most People Say All Day."
  • "Well, Maybe He Was Nervous."
  • "Gum Would Be Perfection."

  • "I'm Not Great At The Advice... Can I Interest You In A Sarcastic Comment?"

Funny Chandler Bing Quotes

Funny Chandler Bing Quotes
Photo by FRIENDS (TV Show) on Pexels

  • "I'm Hopeless And Awkward And Desperate For Love!"
  • "I’m Sorry We, We Don’t Have Your Sheep."
  • "The Fifth Dentist Caved And Now They’re All Recommending Trident?"
  • "Dear God! This Parachute Is A Knapsack!"
  • "Okay, You Have To Stop The Q-Tip When There Is Resistance."
  • “Dear god this parachute is a knapsack!”
  • “Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple. It opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.”
  • “Alright rock, paper, scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave”
  • “If I’m gonna be an old, lonely man, I’m gonna need a thing. You know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So, I figure I’ll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y’know? Crazy Snake Man. And I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. ‘Run away from Crazy Snake Man,’ they’ll shout!”
  • “Like what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checking out the Chan Chan man!”
  • “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
  • “Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”
  • “I’m a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last twelve hundred times.”
  • “Someone on the subway licked my neck. LICKED MY NECK.”
  • “I say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day.”

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