60+ Short Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh Out LoudMar 16, 2021 06:30 PM Short Funny Quotes - Photo by Couleur from Pixabay
Tripboba.com - Looking for something funny? We have listed some short funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. And actually, the laugh is truly the best medicine for our soul.
Not only does it reduce stress, but it also lowers your blood pressure and gives an excellent workout. So, keep reading this article as Tripboba has compiled about 60+ short funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Let's check it out!
Short Funny Quotes About Life
Here are some short funny quotes about life that you can share with your social media or friends.
- "Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear."― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay.
- "The planet is fine. The people are fucked."― George Carlin.
- "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."― Phyllis Diller.
- "I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."― Mark Twain.
- "Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer."― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding
- "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."― Marilyn Monroe.
- "Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish.
- "They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting."― John Green, Looking for Alaska.
- "Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."― Einstein.
- "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."― Cathy Guiswite.
- "If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?"― Jerry Seinfeld
- "I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."― Rodney Dangerfield.
- "That's why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."― George Carlin.
- "Don't be so humble - you are not that great."― Golda Meir.
- "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes.
Short Funny Christmas Sayings and QuotesShort Funny Quotes - Photo by Couleur from Pixabay
You can also share the following short funny quotes about Christmas quotes below with your friends!
- "I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, 'So does the guy I stole it from.'" — David Letterman
- "Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip." — Gary Allan.
- "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." — Maya Angelou.
- "The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." — Johnny Carson.
- "Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state." — Samantha Bee.
- "It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales."— Milton Berle.
- "Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family."— Charles M. Schulz.
- "We celebrate the birth of one who told us to give everything to the poor by giving each other motorized tie racks." — Bill McKibben.
- "It's easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket." — Craig Ferguson.
- "I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange." — Henny Youngman.
- "Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive." — Stephen Fry.
- "Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year." — Victor Borge.
- "The main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." — George Carlin
- "I don't know what to say, but it's Christmas, and we're all in misery." — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Short Funny Christmas Quotes
Here are some of the following short funny quotes to share during Christmas that can make you laugh.
- "Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard." — Andy Borowitz.
- "I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear
- "There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus." — Bob Phillips.
- "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph." — Shirley Temple.
- "It's Christmas Eve! It's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be." — Bill Murray.
- "Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." — Johnny Carson.
- "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." — Phyllis Diller.
- "Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa." — Bart Simpson
- "You can't fool me—there ain't no Sanity Clause!" — Chico Marx.
- "Nothing says holidays like a cheese log." — Ellen Degeneres.
- "The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." — Jay Leno.
- "There's something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh." — Kristen Wiig.
Short Funny Life QuotesShort Funny Quotes - Photo by Tawny Nina Botha from Pixabay
Want to share something with your friends? Well, you can pick one of your favorite short funny quotes about life below.
- "I know I'm a handful but that's why you got two hands."
- "I am currently under construction. Thank you for your patience."
- "You can't make everyone happy. You're not an avocado."
- "I never knew a single noise could actually drive a person insane, but then I had kids and realized all things really are possible."
- "Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses."
- "I am presently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per hour."
- "I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life."
- "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy." — Benjamin Franklin.
- "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." — Bill Watterson.
- "If at first, you don't succeed, fix your ponytail, and try again."
- "Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge."
- "I made a huge to-do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it."
- "If I cut you off, chances are, you handed me the scissors."
- "My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine." — Caroline Rhea.
- "If size really mattered, the elephant would be the king of the jungle."
- "'You attract what you fear.' Oh my God, I'm scared of $10.6 Billion."
- "When life puts you in tough situations, don't say why me? Just say try me!"
- "If you stumble, make it part of the dance."
- "Every time you are able to find humor in a difficult situation, you win."
- "One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're the toast."
- "Some days, I can conquer the world. Other days, it takes me three hours to convince myself to shower."
- "Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin."
- "Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop." — Gertrude Stein.
- "If you fall, I'll be there." — Floor.
- "It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper." — Jerry Seinfeld.
- "Story of my life: I knew better but I did it anyway."
- "Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe." — Mark Twain.
- "When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic." — Jane Wagner.
- "Hold on, I've gotta overthink about it."
Short Funny Quotes for Kids
Now, you can also share these short funny quotes with kids. Scroll down and write you are favorite below.
- "The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable" - Lane Olinghouse
- "All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them." – Erma Bombeck
- "There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child." – Frank A. Clark
- "The only thing kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents." – John J. Plomp
- "It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snow-blower, or vacuum cleaner." – Ben Berger
- "The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering." – Paul Reiser
- "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home." – Phyllis Diller
- "Hi, my daughter will be late to school because she can zip her jacket by herself." – unknown
- "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." – Franklin p. Jones
- "In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television." – Erma Bombeck
- "Children are a great comfort in your old age- and they help you reach it faster too." – Lionel Kauffman
- "There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age." – Benjamin Spock
Short Funny Inspiring QuotesShort Funny Quotes - Photo by Marfa Bogdanovskaya from Pixabay
Want to inspire others in different ways? Don't worry. Go check out the following short funny quotes below.
- "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water." – Unknown.
- "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese." – Billie Burke.
- "Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!" – Jeffrey Gitomer.
- "Every tattoo is temporary because we're all slowly dying." – Unknown.
- "I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms." – Michael Scott.
- "It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others." – Ashleigh Brilliant.
- "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." – Mark Twain.
- "The best things in life are actually really expensive." – Unknown.
- "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." – Will Rogers.
- "Well-behaved women seldom make history." – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.
- "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get a warm feeling that it brings." – Robert Bloch.
- "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." – Oscar Wilde.
- "If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you." – Steven Wright.
- "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous." – Robert Benchley.
- "Nothing is impossible. The word itself says "I'm possible!" – Audrey Hepburn.
- "The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." – Terry Pratchett.
- "When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" – Sydney Harris
- "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" – Steven Wright.
- "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." – Steve Martin.
- "Bad decisions make good stories." – Ellis Vidler.
- "Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them." – Unknown.
- "Happiness is just sadness that hasn't happened yet." – Unknown.
- "I cannot afford to waste my time making money." – Louis Agassiz.
That's all. You can enjoy all the short funny quotes above and share them with your friends!
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