60+ Skyrim Quotes You Might Miss, Hilarious and Funny!

Skyrim NPC Quotes

Skyrim is the game with some characters that users can play. During the dialogue scenes, there will be some Non-Player Characters or NPC that have their parts to talk. These Skyrim quotes from the NPCs will give you some insights about how great this game is. Let's check 'em out!

• "Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh what am I saying, of course you don’t." – Nazeem
• "Don’t suppose you’d enchant my sword? Dull old blade can barely cut butter." – Guards
• "Drem. Patience. There are formalities that must be observed, at the first meeting of two of the dov. By long tradition, the elder speaks first. Hear my Thu'um! Feel it in your bones. Match it, if you are Dovahkiin!" – Paarthurnax
• "Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there." – Ralo
• "I am sworn to carry your burdens." – Lydia
• "I do swear my blood and honour to the service of Ulfric Stormcloak." – Blood Oath of the Stormcloaks
• "I fight so that all the fighting I've already done hasn't been for nothing. I fight… because I must." – Ulfric Stormcloak
• "I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." – Guards
• "I’m not a man, I’m a weapon in human form. Just unsheathe me and point me at the enemy." – Hrongar
• "If it's the war you're referring to, I'm on the side of Whiterun. No doubt General Tullius and his friends in the Empire will tell you that I owe them my loyalty, and perhaps I do." – Jarl Balgruuf the Greater
• "If you have the aptitude you should join the Wizard’s College in Winter Hold." – Farengar Secret-Fire
• "In their tongue he is Dovahkiin - Dragonborn." – Esbern
• "Is there singing in the Void? Dancing...? Surely the Dread Lord will at least allow poor Cicero to caper..." – Cicero
• "I've got my eyes on you." – Irileth
• "Let me guess… someone stole your sweetroll?" – Guards
• "Lot of history in these walls. We're trying to make some more. It's a lucky time to be alive." – Jorleif
• "My cousin is out fighting dragons. And what do I get? Guard duty." – Guards
• "Never should have come here!" – Bandits
• "Nords’ armor has lots of fur. This sometimes makes M'aiq nervous."
• "Psst! Hey. I know who you are. Hail Sithis!" – Guards

Skyrim Quotes Funny

Photo by pcgamer.com

Skyrim quotes are also full of silly jokes that are funny as well. These quotes of the funny dialogues in game will give you a break in the mid of the serious battle. Let's take a look!

• "Psst! I know who you are… Hail Sithis!"
• "Sorry lass, I’ve got important things to do. We’ll speak another time."
• "Stormcloaks, Imperials, dragons. Ain't no matter to me what I kill. Let them come." – Guards
• "Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear."
• "The meals I serve aren’t exactly what I’d call a Jarl’s feast, but they’ll fill your belly." – Innkeepers
• "These Forsworn don’t even have the decency to dress properly."
• "Ulfric Stormcloak would say that I owe my allegiance to the Nord people as they fight for Skyrim's independence. Perhaps this is also true. The day might come when I am forced to draw my sword for one side or the other. But that day has not come yet." – Jarl Balgruuf the Greater
• "Ummm… you got no clothes. You should get some."
• "What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"
• "When the Dragonborn ruler loses his throne, and the White Tower falls - When the Snow Tower lies sundered, kingless, bleeding - The World-Eater wakes, and the Wheel turns upon the Last Dragonborn." – The Prophecy of the Dragonborn
• "You know what we call people who mess with us? Suicide."
• "You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They’ve got curved swords. Curved. Swords." – Guards
• "You want knives? You want them in your belly? No? Then you stop talking to Deeja!"
• "You’re either the bravest person i’ve ever met… or the biggest fool."
• "You've shown yourself mighty, both in Voice and deed. In order to defeat Alduin, you've gained mastery of dreadful weapons. Now it is up to you to decide what to do with your power and skill. Your future lies before you." – Arngeir

Best Skyrim Quotes

It is no doubt that Skyrim is one of the best strategy and battle games. If you're looking for its best part, one of 'em is the dialogue scenes. These are the best Skyrim quotes for your inspiration. Let's check 'em out!

• "And he says to the man, “That’s not a horker! That’s my wife!"
• "Darling! I've been waiting for you to return, to consummate our love!"
• "Either I'm drunk, or you're naked. Possibly both."
• "Ho ho ho and hee hee hee, break that lute across my knee. And if the bard should choose to fight, why then I set his clothes alight!"
• "I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee."
• "I'm not a man, I'm a weapon in human form."
• "I've seen better. Well, maybe not."
• "Let me guess. Someone stole your sweetroll!"
• "Let's kill these milk-drinkers!"
• "My cousin is out fighting dragons. And what do I get? Guard duty."
• "Perhaps we should find a random stranger to murder. Practice does make perfect."
• "Umm... Actually, I was hoping to get the ring back."
• "Weak. He's weak. You're strong. Crush him!"
• "What do you want, milk-drinker?"
• "Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch the magic!"
• "You reek of death my friend. I salute you."