60+ Top Deadpool Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Best Deadpool Quotes

• "House blowing up builds character."

• "Bad Deadpool... Good Deadpool!"

• "Whose kitty litter did I just shit in?"

• "Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf."

• "Happy Lent."

• "Dad?"

• "This is my most prized possession..."

• "Guy came in here looking for you. Real Grim Reaper-type. I don't know. Might further the plot."

• "If I ever decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at Neverland Mansion with some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker... on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request."

• "All the dinosaurs feared the T-Rex."

• "McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are confusing."

• "Ever see 127 Hours?"

• "I want to die a natural death at the age of 102 - like the city of Detroit."

• "Please don't make the super suit green... or animated!"

• "You have something in your teeth."

Deadpool Movie Quotes

• "He got Ajax from the dish soap!"

• "You will die alone, if you could die - ideally, for others sake."

• "Captain Deadpool! No, just Deadpool."

• "Fourth wall break inside of a fourth wall break? That's like... 16 walls!"

• "You're about to be killed by a Zamboni."

• "I bet it feels huge in this hand."

• "Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade II**."**

• "Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment -- right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck."

• "It's a Big house. It's weird I only ever see two of you. Almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man."

• "Superhero landing! She's going to do a superhero landing!"

• "When I'm finished parts will have to grow back you."

• "You were droning on!"

• "You live in a house?"

• "After a brief adjustment period, and a couple of drinks, it's a face... I'd be happy to sit on."

• “I really find you very attractive. Did I say that out loud?”

• ‘Do you have a plan?”

Funny Deadpool Quotes

• "He's not punking me! Okay... he punked me a little bit. But c'mon! How'm I supposed to do my thing when he's already doin' my thing!"

• "Please, Al, a little warning next time... Some of us aren't blind y'know?"

• "Take it from me, the guy they call the Merc with a Mouth... sometimes your best weapon is shutting up!"

• "You should know I'm undefeated against opponents with nose rings."

• "So far marriage is pretty awesome, and the new crib is like living in a Tim Burton movie."

• "My common sense is tingling."

• "Hey, if you looked like Ryan Reynolds crossed with a shar-pei, you'd understand!"

• "Attention circus patrons! I have come from another dimension to take your daredevil pooch. He is needed to save many worlds."

• "You're so dark. Are you sure you're not from the DC universe?"

• "Hey, look at me. You are not your father."

• "I was fighting a caped badass, but then we discovered that his mom is named Martha, too."

• "Zip it, Thanos!"

• "I just saw the ad and thought it looked fun."

• "Doing the right thing is messy. You want to fight for what's right, sometimes you have to fight dirty."

• "Just once, I going to find a planet where people are worse than me at everything, a whole bunch of functional idiots."

• "Hey, big guy, the sun's getting real low."