70+ Clever Quotes About Everything to Shower Your Life with Inspirations

Funniest Clever Quotes

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Read through these funny and clever quotes and memorize a few to help lighten the mood.

• “I never feel more privileged than when I get angry about website design.” —Kelly Oxford.
  “You can fail at what you don’t want—so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.” —Jim Carrey. These funny test answers are secretly genius.
  
• “Not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years or sharing an iPhone charger for one day.” —Rhea Butcher
  
• “I asked my brother-in-law, the father of four boys, ‘If you had it to do all over again, would you still have kids?’ ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Just not these four.'” —Sheila Lee
  
• “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that seem right? That means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” —Jerry Seinfeld
  “Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” —Sandra Bullock
  
• “I just realized that ‘Let me check my calendar’ is the adult version of ‘Let me ask my mom.'” —Noelle Chatham.
  
• “Instant gratification takes too long.” —Carrie Fisher
  
• “Mapquest really needs to start its directions on number five. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.” —Aaron Karo
  
• “I admit that I live in the past, but only because housing is so much cheaper.” —Matt Wohlfarth
  
• “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon
  
• “User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.'” —Dave Barry

Clever Love Quotes

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Each of people can define love in many different ways and meanings. Here are some clever quotes about love to help you catch the meaning.

• "Better to put your heart on the line, risk everything, and walk away with nothing than play it safe. Love is a lot of things, but 'safe' isn’t one of them." ― Mandy Hale
  
• "To me, obligation is not love. Letting someone be open, honest and free — that's love. It's got to come natural and it's got to be real." — Dolly Parton
  
• "Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination." ― Voltaire
  
• "When we know love matters more than anything, and we know that nothing else really matters, we move into the state of surrender. Surrender does not diminish our power, it enhances it." ― Sara Paddison
  
• "My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return." ― Maya Angelou
  
• "Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." ― Fred Rogers
  
• "The art of love is largely the art of persistence." - Albert Ellis
  

Clever Quotes About Friends

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Check out these clever quotes about friendship and share them with your friends.

• "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey
  
• "A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body." - Jim Hayes
  
• "Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop." -Unknown
  
• "It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter." -Marlene Dietrich
  
• "One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention."  -Clifton Fadiman
  
• "You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job."  -Laurence J. Peter
  
• "There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."  -Linda Grayson
  
  

Clever Quotes About Life

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No matter which way you go, read these clever quotes about life to see the inspiring actions in life.

• "Most men die many times in their lives. The man we become invariably slaughters the child we once were. His knowledge of the world murders the babe's innocence." - Sherrilyn Kenyon
  
• "I'm just glad I was able to return to some of that innocence and beauty I had as a child when I started my own family, and my children brought me back some of that spirit." - Angelina Jolie
  
• "In the hearts of children, there's so much trust and love. If only we could all cling throughout our lives to the wonder and innocence that are always present in a child. Our." - Linda Thompson
  
• "It is no use trying to assume again the state of innocence and acceptance of the animal or the child. This time it has to be conscious. To circle about in such gladness as his, is the effort of a whole lifetime." - Jeanette Winterson
  
• "Like the Bible says. A child should be leader of them all, and to be led by that kind of innocence. Didn't Jesus say bring on the children? Be like the children. Not childish, but child-like. That kind of innocence." - Michael Jackson
  
• “Getting rid of everything that doesn’t matter allows you to remember who you are. Simplicity doesn’t change who you are, it brings you back to who you are.” ― Courtney Carver, Soulful Simplicity: How Living with Less Can Lead to So Much More
  
• “If one’s life is simple, contentment has to come. Simplicity is extremely important for happiness. Having few desires, feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital: satisfaction with just enough food, clothing, and shelter to protect yourself from the elements.” — The Dalai Lama
  
• “There is more joy and fulfillment in pursuing less than can be found in pursuing more.” ― Joshua Fields Millburn
  
• “I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.” ― Albert Einstein
  
• “Make things as simple as possible, but no simpler.” — Albert Einstein
  
• “Have the courage to build your life around what is really most important to you.” ― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home
  
• “I was rich, for there was nothing else that I needed or wanted.” ― Mark Warren, Two Winters in a Tipi: My Search for the Soul of the Forest
  
• “Life is as simple as these three questions: What do I want? Why do I want it? And, how will I achieve it?” ― Shannon L. Alder
  

Clever Quotes For Instagram

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Cool captions for your Instagram? Pass! Make the clever captions instead! Here are some clever quotes for you to write on.

• "Her wit was more than man, her innocence a child." - John Dryden
  
• "The child's naive dream of life is the only one worth having." - Marty Rubin
  
• "I look upon the gift of my life as a wondrous journey." - Maureen Brady
  
• "He was filled with horror at the thought of what a child becomes, and what the dead must feel watching the change from innocence to guilt and powerless to stop it." - Graham Greene
  
• "The Grizzly Bear is huge and wild; He has devoured the infant child. The infant child is not aware It has been eaten by a bear." - A.E. Housman
  
• "In Baltimore, kids grow up very quickly. You're placed in a lot of situations that a child shouldn't be in and a lot of Baltimore kids lose innocence very soon." - Sheldon Candis
  
• "To injure, ignore, disrespect, and violate the innocence of a child are among the greatest evils known to man." - Billy Graham
  
• "Making strides in areas unencumbered by hard-won expectation feels effervescent. By switching into child-mode, shuffling the cortex, we remember our innocence, when we knew less. These are the essentials of continued aesthetic discovery." - Sara Genn
  
• "It's just a flesh wound." Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
  
• "That is my least vulnerable spot."Casablanca (1942)
  
• "This building has to be at least…. three times bigger than this!"Zoolander (2001)
  
• "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."Airplane (1980)
  
• "Yeah, but I shoot with this hand."Blazing Saddles (1974)
  
• "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight."The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
  
• "I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late '90s."Deadpool (2016)
  
• "Martini. Gin, not vodka. Obviously. Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth."Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)
  
• "'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you're ever gonna get!"The Incredibles (2004)
  
• "I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. [Someone catcalls her.] I object!"Legally Blonde (2001)
  
• "We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for…. One million dollars."Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
  
• "He might be okay. [Beat. Huge explosion.] Well, no, probably not now."Groundhog Day (1993)
  
• "Don't be so timid! When you were a child, didn't you speak out the truth that the oldest ones kept secret? Well, you were right then. You must find the time of innocence in yourself again because that was also the time of courage." - Amin Maalouf