75 Funny Witty Quotes About Love, Friendship, and LifeJun 10, 2021 04:15 PM
Witty love quotes
Giggle and fall in love at the same time with these witty quotes and sayings!
- “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” — Joan Crawford
- “This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.” — Lorrie Moore
- “The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.” — Natalie Wood, Actress
- “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” — Sir Winston Churchill
- “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” — Natasha Leggero
- “Love is the same as like, except you feel sexier.” — Judith Viorst
- "You are a smart cookie. A wise chocolate cake. A brilliant pancake.” — Rey Woodman
- “Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schultz
- “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” — Richard Lewis
- “If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” — Miles Davis
- “Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” — George Burns
- “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” — Tim Allen
- “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” — Lily Tomlin
- “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” — Jean Illsley Clarke
- “Relationships are so much like the United States - they only really thrive when faced with an external threat.” ― Laura Pedersen, Best Bet
Witty friendship quotes
Send these witty quotes to your awesome, crazy friends!
- “’We...we could be friends.' We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants, but we're not. At least, I'M not.” ― Neil Gaiman, Coraline
- "Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice." — Otto von Bismarck
- “A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.” — Jim Hayes
- “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich
- “Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” — Charles Lamb
- “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” — Laurence J. Peter
- “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson
- "When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, Damn, that was fun." — Groucho Marx
- "Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with." — Robert Brault
- "I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places." — Mark Twain
- "It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not." — Mignon McLaughlin
- "If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal." — Oprah Winfrey
- "Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed." — Laurie Colwin
- "Whoever says friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!" — Bronwyn Polson
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