50+ Sick Jokes Ideas to Make Your Life Less Hard and More Funny!

50+ Sick Jokes Ideas to Make Your Life Less Hard and More Funny!
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Tripboba.com - Life can be so unpredictable and hard, which means taking a little break will make it easier. These sick jokes can be your best relief to not really thinking about how hard the life is. You can put a simple way to make it easier. Just like making fun of it in unique way.

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Sick jokes can be your best thing to throw when one of your friends or you yourself are down. These jokes can be so simple and easy to understand. It is more like laughing at the life itself, and it somehow helps to release the positive energy. Well, let's find out some of the ideas below!

  • "I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing." // "Except at a funeral."
  • "I don’t have a carbon footprint." // "I just drive everywhere."
  • "I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid."
  • "I threw a boomerang a few years ago." // "I now live in constant fear."
  • "It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive."
  • "My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction." // "So I packed up my stuff and right."
  • "My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my brother."
  • Patient: "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" // Doctor: "To the morgue." // Patient: "What? But I’m not dead yet!" // Doctor: "And we’re not there yet."
  • "Siri, why am I still single?" // *Siri activates front camera.*
  • "The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies." // "They’re always so twisted."
  • "Tombstone engraving." // "I TOLD you I was sick."
  • "What did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs say?" // "T. rex, I’m coming for my hug!"
  • "What does my dad have in common with Nemo?" // "They both can’t be found."
  • "What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?" // "None. Historians have suggested most pirates would have been illiterate."
  • "What’s the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?" // "A hockey player showers."
  • "What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?" // "Its butt."
  • "When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken." // “Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
  • "Why did the mailman die?" // "Because everybody dies."
  • "You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo."
  • "You’re not completely useless." // "You can always serve as a bad example."
Those are the 20 ideas of sick jokes that you can try to throw to your friends. Life can be so hard yet a little dark jokes won't make it worse, tho!

Being Sick Jokes

Being Sick Jokes
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Sick jokes are the best way to skip problems when you feel it too heavy to handle. You can take your time to do something else rather than just keep focusing on it. Some people may do something bad just to forget the problems for a moment. Yet, you can read something that are funny to lift up yourself and encourage that everything won't last forever. Let's check 'em out!

  • Doctor: “I have good and bad news.” // Patient: “Give me the good news first.” // Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.” // Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?” // Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
  • "I hope Death is a woman." // "That way it will never look at me twice."
  • "I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home." // "So I threw him out. I hate having visitors."
  • "Just say NO to drugs!" // "Well, if I’m talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes."
  • My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?” // I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
  • "My boss told me to have a good day." // "So I went home."
  • My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” // "They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals."
  • "My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame." // "I love a protagonist with a twisted back story."
  • "My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset." // "She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?
  • "My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology." // "I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support."
  • "My grief counselor died the other day." // "He was so good that I didn’t even care."
  • "My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children." // "If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow."
  • "The cemetery is so overcrowded." // "People are just dying to get in."
  • "What do you call a cheap circumcision?" // "A rip-off."
  • "What rhymes with “boo” and stinks?" // "You."
  • "Why are friends a lot like snow?" // "If you pee on them, they disappear."
  • "Why did the old man fall in the well?" // "Because he couldn’t see that well."
  • "Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?" // "Because they taste funny."
  • "Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?" // "Because they have no body to go with."
  • "You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving." // "You need a parachute to go skydiving twice."

Sick Jokes for Adults

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Dark jokes or sick jokes sometimes only relate to the older and mature people. It is because it contains some sensitive things that inappropriate to those who don't accept any excuses in making jokes. Well, these sick and dark jokes for adults can be your best things to make fun of with friends. Let's check 'em out!

  • "An apple a day keeps the doctor away…" // "Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough."
  • "Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee. // I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s."
  • "Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face." // "For instance, when you push them down the stairs."
  • "I have a fish that can breakdance!" // "Only for 20 seconds though, and only once."
  • "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting." // "So we stopped playing chess."
  • "I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day." // "It was impossible to put down."
  • "I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof."
  • "I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died." // "Are you still holding the ladder?"
  • "If at first you don’t succeed… then skydiving definitely isn’t for you." 
  • "It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys." // "It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey."
  • Man: "I work with animals." // Woman: "That’s so sweet. I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?" // Man: "I work in the butcher shop up the street."
  • "Never break someone’s heart. They only have one." // "Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them."
  • "The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick." // "She still isn’t talking to me."
  • "They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group." // "I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm."
  • "Today I went to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face." // "My parents are the worst."
  • "What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral?" // "Nothing."
  • "What did the husband say after he was caught masturbating to an optical illusion?" // "Hon, it’s not what it looks like!"
  • "What do you do if you’re ever attacked by a gang of clowns?" // "Go for the juggler."
  • "What’s the difference between jelly and jam?" // "You can’t jelly a clown into a tiny car."
  • "What’s yellow and can’t swim?" // "A dead goldfish."
  • "When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark." // "But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!"
  • "Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?" // "When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
  • "Why do vampires seem sick?" // "They’re always coffin."
  • "Why was the leper hockey game canceled?" // "There was a face off in the corner."
  • "You know why I hate The Lion King song “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King”?" // "If you think about it, it could be called “I Just Can’t Wait for My Dad to Be Killed in a Stampede.”

Sick Kid Jokes

Sick Kid Jokes
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Kids are the most adorable creatures to make fun with. They are innocent and sometimes can be triggered easily with simple jokes. These are the "safe" sick jokes for kids that you may find interesting. Let's check 'em out!

  • "Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?" // "They woke him up."
  • "Did you hear the joke about the roof?" // "Never mind, it’s over your head."
  • "How do you make a tissue dance?" // "Put a little boogie in it."
  • "How does a train eat?" // "It goes chew chew."
  • "How does Darth Vader like his toast?" // "On the dark side."
  • "What did one toilet say to the other toilet?" // "You look flushed."
  • "What did the fisherman say to the magician?" // "Pick a cod, any cod."
  • What did the policeman say to his belly button?" // "You’re under a vest."
  • "What did the snowman say to the other snowman?" // "Do you smell carrots?"
  • "What did the stamp say to the envelope?" // "Stick with me and we’ll go places together."
  • "What did the traffic light say to the car?" // "Don’t look. I’m about to change."
  • "What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?" // "The same middle name."
  • "What do you say when you lose a Wii game?" // "I want a Wii-match."
  • "What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?" // "Thunderwear."
  • "What has two legs but can’t walk?" // "A pair of pants."
  • "What music frightens balloons?" // "Pop music."
  • "What race is never run?" // "A swimming race."
  • "What room doesn’t have doors?" // "A mushroom."
  • "What stays in a corner and travels all over the world?" // "A stamp."
  • "What's a cow's favorite holiday?" // "Riddle."
  • "Which is the longest word in the dictionary?" // ""Smiles,” because there are miles between each “s"."
  • "Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?" // "Because she’s always running away from the ball."
  • "Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?" // "She will Let It Go."
  • "Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?" // "In case he got a hole in one."
  • "Why did the little boy throw his clock out the window?" // "Because he wanted to see time fly."
Well, those are the 50+ sick jokes that can be your inspiration. Bear in mind that not all people ready for such jokes, and they may find it weird. Good luck!


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