65+ Hilarious Dark Jokes to Match Your Humor

65+ Hilarious Dark Jokes to Match Your Humor
Dark Jokes - Photo by Sarah Richter from Pixabay
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Tripboba.com - Some people find it difficult to laugh out loud while they read or hear dark jokes, but the rest of them are finding it really funny until they get the meaning of the jokes. The one that you need to keep in mind, that there are just dark jokes. So, don't have a hard feeling when you read that!

If you are looking for inspiration on dark jokes to lighten up the atmosphere in a gathering or party, then congratulation because you are landing on the right page.

Through this article, Tripboba will share with you about 67 hilarious dark jokes to make you laugh out loud. Psst, you can also share your dark jokes in the comment section below. Keep scrolling!

Dark Humor Jokes

Dark Humor Jokes
Dark Jokes - Photo by Jackie Ramirez from Pixabay

  • "My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest." 
  • "Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh."
  • "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?” “To the morgue.” “What? But I’m not dead yet!” “And we’re not there yet.”"
  • "I took my wife’s family out for biscuits and tea. They weren’t very happy about having to donate blood though."
  • "Q: When does a joke become a dad joke? A: When it’s fully groaning."
  • "My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I’ve only ever known and loved her as Christine."
  • "After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Btw – verb, not adjective."
  • "Son, ‘Mommy, mommy, daddy hanged himself in the attic!’ Mother, ‘What??!!’ Son, ‘Gotcha, April’s fool! He hangs in the garage.’"
  • "Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life."
  • "Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver."
  • "You know you’re ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo."
  • "Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly? Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
  • "What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command."
  • "Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far! Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!"
  • "I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page."
  • "I hate these double standards…if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re “doing a good job” do it at home and your “destroying evidence”."
  • "Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!"

Funny Dark Jokes

Funny Dark Jokes
Dark Jokes - Photo by Nur Pinar from Pixabay

  • "Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home. That’s perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
  • "I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery."
  • "Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!"
  • "It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle."
  • "Grandpa: you can’t have phones within 15 feet of the table Me: and you aren’t allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
  • "Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last, you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!"
  • "I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere."
  • "Sparkly water was invented by the Germans. Who else would think of adding gas?"
  • "“Siri, why am I still single?!” Siri activates the front camera."
  • "“Madam, your son just called me ugly!” The mother apologizes shamefacedly, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look…”"
  • "What did the man with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. He hasn’t opened his present yet."
  • "What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children."
  • "I’ll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you’ve got a gun, haven’t you?!"
  • "What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them."
  • "My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?” We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals."
  • "Why are priests called father? because it is too suspicious to call them daddy."
  • "To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state."

Best Dark Humor

Best Dark Humor
Dark Jokes - Photo by Nandhu Kumar from Pixabay

  • "I got a job as a librarian, but it only lasted half an hour. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section."
  • "What’s red and bad for your teeth? A Brick."
  • "There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt."
  • "A box of condoms, please. That’ll be 3,99. Do you want a bag with it? Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty."
  • "My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Atlanta Zoo."
  • "What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t really matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway."
  • "Why are orphans unable to play baseball? They’ve never known what home is."
  • "What do you give an armless child for Christmas? Nothing, he wouldn’t be able to open it anyways."
  • "I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.’ ‘Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!’ ‘No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.’"
  • "I bought my blind friend a cheese grater. A week later, he told me it’s the most violent book he’s ever read."
  • "What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."
  • "Knock Knock. Who’s there? 9/11, 9/11 who? You said you would never forget…"
  • "What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A diabetic who’s been struck by lightning."
  • "Patient: Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things. Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?"
  • "Q: When does a joke become a dad joke? A: When the punchline becomes apparent."
  • "My ex had an accident. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for her. Finally, she’ll experience what rejection is really like."
  • " A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, ‘Nothing special really… We just tell them they’re going to die…’"

Best Dark Jokes

Dark Jokes - Photo by Bronisław Dróżka from Pixabay

  • "A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? Mirror: ‘Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.’"
  • "When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps."
  • "I was drinking a margarita and the waitress screamed, “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one guy."
  • "How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand? The blind start reading your face."
  • "At a first date: He: ‘I work with animals every day!’ She: ‘Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?’ He: ‘I’m a butcher.’"
  • "How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you can throw."
  • "My boss said to me, ‘you’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?’ I said, ‘I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.’"
  • "They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier."
  • "Doctor: And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr. Smith? Patient: Very well, I’ve been divorced for half a year now."
  • "That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy."
  • " ‘Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are too long!’ – ‘Oh shush, now you’ve scratched the whole floor again!’"
  • "The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved."
  • "My wife called today and said the dishwasher was leaking…I came home with tampons."
  • "It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey."
  • "What’s white on top and black on the bottom? Society."
  • "They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline."

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